State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
