phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
