we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
