At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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