I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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