DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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