he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
is that a dick in a sweater?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
