dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
