Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
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