Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
