i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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