You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
not ubering you a puppy
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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