does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
