garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
