I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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