oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Randomize
