I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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