no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Randomize
