Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
3pm strippers are depressing
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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