you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
