I skipped work to stalk him.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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