How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
