I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
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