You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
