You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You are a genius and a whore.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
