rhymes with "ouble enetration"
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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