We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
