so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
