Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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