If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
