ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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