I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He kissed a someone with a penis
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
