No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Shame is for Republicans.
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