don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize