great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
