It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
