smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
