jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I bet he comes in French.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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