Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
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