You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
