I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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