woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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