Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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