If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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