You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
