I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
