I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
