Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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