would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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