Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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